Jan 4th..last day of work... I feel...kinda..sad.. cause i'm gonna miss all these people. Imagine a few weeks ago i was like grumbling bout their tamil shit..but now i could see past that already..

Now don't scoff at me. Please :)

But i'll visit parkson from time to time just to kacau ALL OF THEM !! AHAHAHHA esp on member's day..where customer service becomes HELL!


-peace!-

Why hello there.. Just want to let all of you know that I have exported this blog to a wordpress blog.

This is my URL: http://draconiandreams.wordpress.com/

I'll still be using this one, but I might switch from one to another depending on connection rates..


TOODLES!

Sometimes, there are the good days, sometimes, there are the shit days. This is one of them.

This is one of those times where i just get so angry all of a sudden, just cause he ain't paying attention to me.

Why am i so selfish? Honestly, i think that I am.

My mood gets shit whenever things like this happen :
1. Disinterest in affairs
2. Preoccupation of own affairs until don't care about the person you're talking to.
3. When there's nothing to talk about.
4. Mood dampeners. Like the three above, and many more.


I just don't know why I cannot cope with this kind of thing. I have issues with this, i know. But I can't tolerate everything now, can i?

Well hello there.. just feeling a lot in love lately...so i just want to add this into the picture..

Sorry if I made people barf in lovey disgust..for those people, you're missing out on the good stuff here!

Okay. This post is going to be about my darling.

A long time ago, he was just any other ordinary guy. The kind of guy that lets his hormonal kicks get the better of him. The kind of guy, who's really a guy's guy. What am i saying? He's just the normal guy. Mmmm that doesn't really get much attention from us girls. Particularly me.

Then a year ago, he experienced his first breakup with some girl.

First cut is always the deepest. And I got my heart broken like a porcelain vase many times and fitted together again so that I could function. BUt the scars still remain. Those cracks in porcelain still remain seen throughout the years.

And so those scars became a reminder to me, as to be wary of who I am going to be with that I could trust not to hurt me so...

Like a chrysalis to a butterfly (figuratively speaking), he changed into the person I could connect with, a person I could count on, a person I could love without hesitation of being compromised...a person I've been looking for all this while. . .

HE changed, cause of me.

I, for one thing, am grateful that you didn't give up on me when I rejected you in the past. I am grateful that I gave you a second chance to prove yourself to me, in the process I fell in love with you. It was time well spent, each day love grows, and blooms with much beauty.

MY darling, BEAR, you've always been the best for me, and you've worked so hard, to get to where you're at. I know cause working so hard and achieving something ain't easy, and you definitely do NOT want to lose that chance and opportunity.

I love you so much, more than I thought I possibly could, more than I thought was potential of me.

All because you've made me see that there are still people who truly care and truly love.

And that person to me, is you.

YO!.
ehheh.. I'm suddenly back into blogging [for today] because SOMEONE is also blogging...seems like he said he wasn't cut out for blogging but then after being so so so so so bored, he started a blog.


Name: LEE CHEN JI
Status: TAKEN. haha.
Weblog: www.gamingbrandofknowledge.blogspot.com


I guess I cannot really comment on the name of the blog. I mean, look at mine ... mascaraeddragonfreak...lol..


OKay. back to ME. hehehs.
Recently I've continued on my job after the singapore trip. But before I talk about my Job...

the SINGAPORE trip
Can be described as FULL OF SHOPPING, full of walking...and full of....food.... It's just nice that I can roam around freely with my own two legs to the most fab shopping mall...to the best food area... and back to the hotel. No sweat. No surveillance from parents... Freedom.

Okay back to the job. Upon coming back and working the very next day, I found out that one of my colleagues was fired. For stealing. A jacket. Mmhmm. Right. Great.

ONE less tamil speaking bozo is better than nothing at all.

Honest. I'm getting real pissed at that machine gun language...if I can escape it there, it'll be around my room, yammering away in philippino..so. No means of escaping the not-nice-to-hear language.

So ... I pretty much like my job ... pressing buttons, scanning vouchers, smiling at people, telling them things that THEY DON"T KNOW HAH!.. and well, being nice...and sometimes, real. So. TAMIL ALL YOU WANT !! I''m not gonna be there permanently anyway...

But I'll try to enjoy it while it lasts. And try to get them to change my shift so that I can go to the damn gym and boogie the evening away with Katherine. HAHA.

Don't picture that. PLease.

BYEBYEfornow!

Woooh. Today is the start of my *ahem* part-time job as a consultant in the customer service department. Or they said cashier, since I am dealing with...money..

WOOH I GET TO scan stuff [RM10 vouchers] with that funny scanner thingy...[there I go, Ms. Jakuun] So basically time kinda flew by...Was tending to people and learning how to operate that funny thing that records the amount of vouchers given bla bla bla. It was quite complicated...F5, F3 pressing buttons like that.

Oh. Many people [staff] asked about me, who I was and what dept i was. They just had to bulge their eyes off when they knew I was in Customer Service. I mean, what's the biggie, you know? What's so special about that post hmm??

When I went out for break, Chen JI sneaked UP ON ME lol..I was [guiltily] eating choc and vanilla ice cream..just had the craves, suddenly haha. I was really happy to see him after so long. Mm-mm.. So as the hours passed and I was out again. Shift ended. Met up with him again and into-ed him to my colleagues :). Yay I get to use that word. Haha.

Recently, before the job thing, I've been attending the gym with Kath. She pesters me to teman her haha. SO I would, if it's a dance class. I like dance classes. Mm-mm..

WE tried out COYOTE [haha I'm veteran at that lol.] and POLEDANCING. In the end of that class (the latter) hands were all...red...pain from the friction of swinging round and round the pole. But it was all good fun, cause there were no dirty thinking in any way whatsoever. Think 'BOOST confidence' and it'll be okay.

Now, I hafta go. Seeeee ya!

http://www.supload.com/sound_confirm.php?get=947319735.wma

Hello. Out of boredom, and of course, frustration, I type this ..
Today is the day where everyone showcase their talents....and my I have to say they DO HAVE talent!! 'Cause of the new people around...many new things are being introduced to this school...

1. I never knew there's tapdancing...
2. Benjamin's dance was.....nice. REALLY. But i don't know what you call it..
3. I miss him...[okay that wasn't really part of the Talentime XD] so damn much...
4. My favourite favourite x 10000 performace was Bat Country by Trepidation, that is, Samuel, Anir, Sheryl, and [someone that i talked to for 5 seconds but i'm not too sure ...who that is... SORRY!]
5. I'm frustrated cause they judged...abit..biased... I dunno. I just feel like the people who worked their asses off training to be THAT SKILLED [note: guitar SOLO real good!] wasted their efforts....somehow it felt that way.. IF I were performing, hell yeah i'd be shit angry. Mind me language, thank yee.

Currently I'm just downloading more noise to satiate my hunger of metal music. Currently going through that EMO isolator phase again. You know these kind of songs help me de-stress. It keeps me away from the face of the world. Emo statement? a..haha. right.

Anyway. Private message time. :D
I really really REALLY miss you, YOU KNOW THAT?? I'm barely keeping up here... and so are you over there, or so you tell me ... Obviously, I can't wait to see you again, but that will be next month. Tough luck though. sigh. In school all I do is try to fill in on what i've missed, but it all comes back to you at the end of the day. I found a song suited..and I love that song..

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah



Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste awayI found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find



and that's the end of it. Quite emo..but It's really nice. Check it out.
Dear God-Avenged Sevenfold

Hello. Tired as hell but I gotta do what I gotta do...

okay.. this is RUFUS.

..and this is Vincent..

Talk about a really really long time till I actually get my hands on a computer, not to mention the keyboard! I'm back, exam's over and I'm trying my best to be happy about it but I really can't. There's just so many things that dampen my spirits....

But like Pink said : SO WHAT?!!!! i am a rock starrr i got my rock movessss lalalalalala okay....ain't gonner get carried away at the moment :)

So, I've decided to move on with my own life. Taking his leave as a break from 'coupledom' (no we're not breaking up. He's flying to Japan..somewhere in there lah) and catching up with my much left behind relationship with my friends [I'm really sorry I left you girls behind. I really am... But it was never my intention to take you as assets -- or so some of you think, or anything shitty as that. So please, I beg of you, be understanding...]

It's alot to take, not just that incident, but a lot of other things piled up too... like... ugh why should i even care or be upset? People have plans, there's nothing wrong with that! It's hard to be rational when your emotions engulf you into a giant flame of erratic-ness......

I'm not making sense anymore, probably because my mom had to interfere with every bloody thing and her insane inquisitivity and SENSITIVITY! GOSH! She ... SHE SAYS cursing using JESUS's name is blasphemy. I KNOW. I know. It is. I DIDN'T CURSE using His name! I said something else.... But the IRONY is...SHE CURSES LIKE MAD IN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IF YOU CAN'T INCLUDE BLASPHEMY!! the irony and the contradiction is too much to take.


Please, please can I not think about this so much... Hellhole of a house...

Surprisingly I can still type fast even though I didn't come on the com for a long while...

You read right. I'm actually not supposed to be here. But, because my parents are out in Malacca, and I'm really sick I can't even read (but can type, wondrously) and i need to update this .

Currently, I'm having - the FEVER, the COUGH, PHLEGM, the headaches, the pain, the frustration of having to put up with the thought of I CAN'T STUDY AT ALL CAUSE OF THIS STUPID HEADACHE!!! gasp hyperventillate etc.... Before my blood pressure increases, I will depart now.

I really really hope I will be able to read my stuff....It kills me to drop in percentage...ESPECIALLY in finals...

Helloo :)

Today.......... is a Sunday............. a carefree day.... a sunny sunday...okay so it rained in the afternoon...SO WHAT? The thought of it being a Sunday is still there. Here's the thing:

I played Dirge of Cerberus on PS2...and...IT WAS FANTASICA! Loved it :)..shootin at stuff...with that auto lock thing...much better than fps..end up dying ~~.. Well, I'm a die-hard RPG gamer, like it or not ! Well, it's about this man, known as Vincent Valentine, who is involved in some kind of experiment, without his consent, of course. Specialists in biotechnology like Dr. Hojo (the insane man who created him) and Dr. Lucrecia Cresent (another scientist..who's involved romantically with Vincent, until she chose to fuse a Chaos(a demon) gene into his blood, over her love for him. Sad right?) worked together to create a new thing with his body, I wouldn't know how else to explain it... So he ended up like...very unhappy with the outcome.. Given a chance, he would change into that demon, chaos, when he loses control over the Protomateria, the thing that controls it..or sumthin like that. Seriously, I am -so- lost in this game.. really, maybe I should have played FFVII...CAN ANYONE LEND IT TO MEEE?? heheh..testing me luck! Well, gameplay is nice, story is confusing, and he is soooooooooo gorgeous, the rugged look of him makes him even more gorgeous hahaha.. but I have no feelings for this game-character stuff. I have a life, dammit, and a boyfriend!!

So, Pictures of it will come shortly...:

This is Vincent :)-nice..-

And..

This is Chaos...[well, I found out that I could shapeshift to this big fella at the FINAL chapter...bummer..I wanted some of the fun earlier...

sigh~ such power..

Wonderful...wonderful creatures, this creators of Final Fantasy series bring....Sight for sore eyes, they are. I'll zone out for now.....gonna research for Dirge of Cerberus.....

I really do wish for the game, really..But it doesn't belong to me.. It belongs to my ... tuition friend..hmm, maybe i buy it from him nyek nyek nyek...but i highly doubt he'll sell it....I WILL try me luck..lol..

I'm out ~

Today..is a well-deserved holiday...for me, that is. I thought i could get something out of this but well...maybe not. Like i said earlier, I much, much prefer school days...BUT a holiday in the middle of the week is .. quite rewarding...

I went to Mid Valley today. Much to my dislike, cause I had to go out with my mom. Not to say I don't like the very being of her at all. It's her attitude I can't stand. Seriously, I have to load myself with expressos [mind you, not to drink, but to douse her with] if I ever want to see a smile cracking up that scowl.

And they say I'm an ungrateful child.....

I want her to be happy. I want her to be carefree. I want her not to worry so much over the littlest littlest things in life, such as things that may go wrong, say, spilling a crumb of biscuit, etc. and make so much fuss out of eating vegetables. Obviously, if she's not already NOTICED, my sister and I have taken a liking to green vegetables. SO DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE DREAD THEM!
"Goh Chai Leng, your greens ah!" Take your greens! Why aren't you eating your greens? (note the negativity. Instead of going on the fence and ASKING if I have eaten, she ALWAYS, ALWAYS assumes that I NEVER touched the green stuff.)

Life can be really complicated. Sorry, [MY] life can be really complicated.

Proceeding with the mall thing, she is like the WORST shopping partner EVER! Knowing my mom, I should ALWAYS walk behind her in case she gets interested(or shall i say, distracted) by some funny thing on the side. She scowls at whatever i say, she furrows her eyebrows at my decisions, etc. etc. etc.! AND, there was one point I just trudged forward, not caring if she follows anymore. Besides, she's interested in her own affairs, as always.

Obviously, I would have loved a shopping companion rather than go alone. But she doesn't care whether I get lost or not. Seems that NOW she acknowledges that I'm finally adult enough to take care of myself.

Let's get down to the nitty-gritty. PUSHING ASIDE the shopping affair, it's that LOOK ON HER FACE. Ugh! That condescending, patronizing look on her face that says "Gosh, you're such a disgrace (to what, I don't the hell know...)".

...I really think it's that....message she sent me on MSN... I think she disgusts me for putting THAT one aside. But what she said to me was influenced by my CAPTION of a million months ago. You know, the MSN doesn't really update the captions till that person comes online, right? Yeah. So I guess I must've said I was bored of life till she decided she wants to join in my pitiful statement and try to make me a better person.

BULLshit.

I know she doesn't want to get her hands dirty. She only wants me to build an image that is acceptable from public views. She doesn't know the turmoil that builds in this very vessel of my soul. Of course, the obvious in-your-face reason is I don't tell her. Hell, that would be a BIG mistake. Knowing her and her know-it-all attitude, I'd rather let her be. Stats: Loves to jump to conclusions, always knows what's right, always criticize me for my actions or behaviour, etc..

Really, would this ever make me a strong person emotionally? In the now, I don't really have any emo support in this house, that's why I hardly talk..

My sister : Doesn't really want to give a damn, also inherited the trait of NOT LISTENING PROPERLY to my little complaints, and also too busy to even care.

My dad: ALREADY busy with so many things, the only things he'd want to worry about are his routines. And Chinese dramas.

My maid : Bad option. Known for letting me down ALL the time, never ever thinking that I did the right thing. Very behind time, too. And irritating.

See it all now? so...this is where i really need my friends...

Hmm....This is some change...well...I don't think I can display my blog url anymore on my msn...I'm afraid some PPL that i don't really authorize to look at it.. so this is gonna spread by word of mouth, i guess..

Today...was a ... normal..day...WELL tomorrow is a holiday, so there.. But I myself don't quite like holidays, i guess.....School's much better. [PLease don't 'boo' me...]

Well...recently, my mom just sent me some instant message, offline...saying that If my life's so boring, maybe I should do something constructive and revolve around other people's lives, not just my own, and see if I'm really fortunate or not...or around those lines..






What could she mean? and it's a little creepy...I'm off...to brood...

Okay.. On the 29th September, I went to the Avril Lavigne concert. Sigh. Blue zone tickets, far far away from the stage, and maybe i think we waited like 1hr 30 mins for the petite blonde to appear on stage.. Sheesh.. And the thing lasted for about 2 hours.

THAT's NOT ENOUGH! for me, really.

Okay then that weekend...went to penang. Not much there, just eat sleep play eat sleep play shop shop shop. Did i mention that time there was this clearance sale at Parkson Gurney Plaza?? Yeah. It was just ke-ray-zee..!
Take this for instance:

50% off clothes and stuff that says 50%.

Good enough? Here's more : ADDITIONAL 40% after reduced price.

Now don't go thinking it's 90% off and all. Honestly, these two situations are VERY different. You can try it at home. 90% is DIFFERENT from 50%+40% (if you noticed, that actually means 70% off stuff. Try it, if you're really bored. :))

Last week. Hmm... from what i remember, I had to attend two dinners that revolved around the birth of babies.

I never liked kids. They're a bother. -_-'

But I still had to go anyway...I brought a book with me in case I got bored. Tough, I actually did. What-a-genius!

Did i forget to mention that the TWILIGHT saga ROCKS??!??! currently I'm infecting my whole class with that fever.. hehehehahahahahhAHHAHAHAHAHHA!! ahem!

People say it's really addictive, it's not easy to put it down after some time when you read it. Face it. Stephanie Meyer is A GENIUS with first-person-perspective writing! The way she put things really makes you able to picture EVERYTHING that is written in the book. Which is what makes it interesting. You actually COULD picture it, whether you have a creative mind or no.

Moving on...I actually won something for my essay writing based on the most recent school event, Gema Merdeka. [Honestly i really think the response for this essay writing is so bad that they gave EVERYONE a prize for that matter, since so few people submitted. Doesn't feel like I won at all, that.]

For now, I have that bookworm fever. Been reading in school alot, when the teacher absolutely bores me out (note:Bio class) or when there is a free period(note:English class) or in between classes. Hahahah I practically made everyone around me READ! Makes me feel like a proud mom, somehow...

Sigh...There are so many things I have to say.. But there's just so little time, you know? Today is .. Friday...the 12th September...hmmm.. Fridays nowadays are getting more boring .. seriously...

Anyway, just got home from an extremely SHORT shopping trip with Tiffany and Esther.. sigh~~

Lesson #1: WHEN you wanna shop for something, PLEASE, PLEASE make sure you REALLY have the time for it, else it'll really be a rush and you'll end up shit tired!

Lesson #2: When you ACTUALLY manage to find something that you really like, even if it doesn't match what you want for the time being, but you still LIKE IT, like it's a fall-in-love-at-first-sight thing, BUY IT.
I'll say it again : BUY IT!
WHY? You ain't never gonna find another like that again, baby, and things are getting more expensive by the day. Seize the day and focus on the present! sigh~frustrations...

Okay... Seriously I don't really understand but the thing is when I got home and wanted to switch on this computer, mom was like.. I DON"T WANT YOU TO TALK TO THAT CHEN JI FELLA AHH...

that's kind of unfair, isn't it? I mean...yeah i do spend lotsa lotsa time with him but she wants me to COOL IT or something like that. Also, friends tell me that I have to spend less time with HIM and more time with THEM.

Decisions, decisions..

BUT LIFE isn't fair!
But he doesn't act like he needs me 24/7 anyway, he's not showing it. I actually feel better also to, well, hang out with friends more often..I don't end up disappointed say if he's like, busy with something I'm not interested in. Or in reverse, I'm busy with something and he's the LEAST interested in that. Sigh.

It's hard .. But i'd try.